Monday, October 29, 2007

Tod Maffin - The Early Years

The Case of the Odd Tod

from insidecbc

Tod Maffin learns about technology from me

at TodBits

Naturally, my comment is not allowed to be seen.
Because Tod prefers illusion to reality.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Anatomy of the balcony of an airhead (Tod Maffin)

The Dumbness That Is Tod Maffin

Here's a tech piece by Tod that didn't make the cut.

It was simply too dumb.
OK, dumber than usual.
OK, as dumb as ever.

(italics are all mine)

Stoned:Surviving Business in an On-Demand World

Feeling a little slow these days? You’re not alone, and it’s not just because you left the iron on this morning (sorry, but someone had to tell you).

(didn't the Fire Department?)

(Going by the title of this piece, we know we're in for a treat.
Because Tod is going to tell us that to survive in business in an on-demand world, we have to get stoned.
Now that's revolutionary thinking!)

Research at King’s College in London has discovered that the “on-demand” world of business is, frankly, making us dumb. Test subjects were asked to carry out problem-solving tasks while being bombarded with emails and phone calls. As a result, their IQ levels dropped an average of 10 points — even when they were instructed to ignore the interruptions. (Incidentally, smoking marijuana, on average, results in a smaller IQ drop.)

(That's some discovery! And yet, some of us already knew that, because Tod is all business.)

(the conclusion would just as well be - distractions lower productivity. "That darn doorbell keeps ringing while I'm trying to play Warcraft. And where's that pizza I ordered over an hour ago?")

That’s right, you can perform more efficiently smoking a joint than sending an email (obsessive Doritos consumption aside.)

(I've had to look at that sentence several times. Perhaps because I just smoked a joint. And I'm asking myself, why don't I send an email AND smoke a joint?
As appealing as this finding is to me personally, my boss does not agree that I perform more efficiently smoking a joint than sending an email.)

We’ve all felt it. Emails that pile into our inbox like a teletype machine that never stops. A voicemail line that keeps filling up. A cell phone we’re afraid to turn on. This on-demand world has gotten a bit out of hand.

(Tod, you're afraid to turn your cell phone on? That's a bad sign.)

Luckily, tools are beginning to emerge that can help us regain some control over our day.

When you think about it, none of us actually call people. We call places. “I’ll call you in your office,” or “I’ll call you at home” or “I’ll try to get you on your cell.” It’s inefficient and makes everyone try to second-guess where you’ll be.

(I'm trying to think like you, Tod, but it hurts.
We call places, not people.
That's only true if your cell phone is up your butt, Tod.

Is this the Taj Mahal? How's it hangin' Taj?
Hello? There's a bad echo.
I'm gonna try calling some other place. Bye.")

Solutions from companies like Mitel are starting to take advantage of IP-routed telephony so that now that important client only needs to have one phone number to reach you — and it will genuinely get to you, no matter where you are.

Here’s how it works: Your client calls your number. Since you don’t pick up at the office, it jumps to your cell phone. Turns out you’re just parking your car outside the office, but you take the call. Your client has no idea where you are. It’s irrelevant. You keep talking as you walk into your office. Then, with a single button-push on your office phone, it takes control of that call from your cell — passing the call through seamlessly, meaning you’re no longer paying for cellular airtime (and saving the old “I’m in my office now, can I call you back from a landline?” routine).

Shouldn’t business always be this easy?

My PalmPilot mysteriously died the other day. (Okay, I dropped it, but that’s not the point.) I tried to sync the empty Palm with the backed-up data on my computer and, instead, overwrote the backed-up data with the blank void from my handheld.

(Didn't anyone ever tell you, Tod, that you're just as stupid as everyone else?

You're dropping things, Tod.
First your expensive iPhone, and now your less interesting and less fun Palm Pilot.
The cosmos may be trying to tell you something.
Perhaps your psychiatrist is also trying, but you have too many distractions.
Why not have a nice , warm scented bath?
And don't bring any electronics with you!)

And so, I went retro. A single paper-based 8½x5½ dayplanner. And I’ve never looked back. No more categories, syncing, batteries, conflicts, or upgrades. The biggest upgrade I’ve had to do so far was to buy a new tab because I didn’t like the colour.

Again, shouldn’t it always be this easy?

I’m always amazed at how many companies spread their advice and network help thin. They have one partner for network management, another that does their email, yet another that handles security and VPN issues, and more. At the least, this leads to missed opportunities in finding cost savings with hardware in your network. Find a single network partner that can bring all or most of the network services to bear that you need. Then, when things go weird (this is the Internet, after all; things always do) you’ve got a single person to call who can coordinate the right solutions for you and knows all the pieces of your network architecture.

The future of business isn’t always easy to forecast if you focus on the technology, because technology changes so fast and because creative geniuses keep inventing things that shouldn’t be capable of doing what they do.

(Since business is forever dependent on the latest technology, and technology gets more complex ... then what basis on earth is there to believe that the future of business is simplification?
Because you dropped your Pilot and bought a day-timer until you can get another iPhone? - and continue with the simplification!)

But when you start thinking about how you can make your own day easier — from reducing the chaos of your day and endless phone calls to getting a quick answer from a real human being about your network — you realize the future of on-demand business is, ironically, simplification.

And if that always fails, there’s always a sale on Doritos at the corner store.

(Let me see if I understand what you just said ...
"the future of on-demand business is, ironically, simplification.
And if that always fails ..."

Should the words "if" and "always" be in the same sentence?
That seems ... ironic.

Tod, do you need help?
I mean, do you need help editing?
I can help you, and would gladly do so.

Unlike you editing me, without being asked!)


Tod Maffin is “one of Canada’s most influential futurists” according to The Globe and Mail.

And, he's an asshole, a phony, and too scatter-brained to make any real sense.
Why not have him speak at your next event?

People of Vancouver. Be careful walking on Granville street. Tod Maffin lives in a high-rise downtown and he's always dropping things!

First he dropped his iPhone, now ...

"My PalmPilot mysteriously died the other day. (Okay, I dropped it, but that’s not the point.)"

Friday, October 12, 2007

My Goal: To contact Tod Maffin from every computer on the internet

As you know, my computer is Forbidden! to view Tod's blog.

But now it turns out that, ever since I sent a nice message to Tod from an Apple computer at the Apple Store in the Eaton Center in downtown Toronto, none of the computers in the store can see Tod's blog!


Tod, you are such a dweeb.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Does Tod Maffin Have Something To Hide?

This is what comes up in Firefox when I click on a link to his page ...

I can access his BS from any computer except my own, so he can't hide his constant self-serving manipulations or nerdy tricks from me.
Just make it inconvenient to get them.
Does Tod have something to hide?
How could he, if he posts it on the internet?
So it leaves only one valid reason:
Tod Maffin is an asshole.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Tod Maffin Is Available For Speaking Engagements ... In Your Car

This may well be the most pathetic thing I have read on the internet:

Hitchhiking is actually quite dangerous, Tod, especially for someone as attractive as you.
Either take the bus or walk.
You're already on Granville Street. Just go downhill and turn left at Richmond.
I believe they also deliver.
But maybe you're just craving those Swedish meatballs.

An annual tradition at Maclean's magazine ...

And not one teacher or reporter said "what the hell are you talking about, Tod Maffin?"

Here, a "crowd of school teachers" in Regina last year listen to Tod Maffin telling them how to do their jobs.
In this excellent coverage by reporter Veronica Rhodes, we are invited to listen in while Tod Maffin disparages Rock Tumblers.

"He explained to the crowd of school teachers his belief that the education system is a rock tumbler students are put into at a young age.

"You take all the students at the beginning of the cycle and toss them into a rock tumbler. You turn on the switch and tumble them for about 12 years," said Maffin.

The tumbler is supposed to create some "nice stones," he explained, but turn by turn it causes damage, stripping away the colour and texture, scraping away the real stone.

The nice stones that come out of the tumbler are like the students that come out of the current education system, which he believes creates a bunch of generalists."

Analogies from a guy with shit for brains.

If only Pierre Trudeau, Roberta Bondar, Tommy Douglas and Beverley McLachlin and Marshall McLuhan hadn't been put through the "rock tumbler", just think of what they could have done with their lives. They could have become freelance broadcasters just like Tod Maffin.
Come to think of it, isn't Preston Manning finally doing voice work for the CBC? I guess it's never too late to turn your life around.

Some people really like rock tumblers, and have a lot of fun with them, even if it is a rather nerdy and dull toy.
And the final product that comes out of rock tumblers, when used correctly, is one that is generally more prized by everyone in the world, compared to their opinion of the generally thought worthless and over-abundant product that went in.
People everywhere are impressed by the beautiful, sometimes stunning products you can get by using rock tumblers.

Perhaps the "Meat Grinder" analogy was a little too edgy for Tod Maffin

And perhaps because it gave us this ...

graduated from Thomas Jefferson High School in 1965

"Some rough stones are rough for a reason," (Tod Maffin) said. "Nurture it."

Tod probably invested in a million of these and is still trying to unload them.
So why not to a bunch of dumb teachers.

In closing, Maffin asked the teachers to find a rock and put it on their desk as a reminder that students are not all the same.

"Some rough stones are rough for a reason," (Tod Maffin) said. "Nurture it."

~from the Leader-Post

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Tod Maffin Likes To Get Stoned

And who wouldn't, if this is what your parents gave you for Christmas:

Friday, October 5, 2007

How Many Children Does Tod Maffin Have? ... Answer: Zero

The Lavin Agency bills this as "one of Tod's most popular speeches", yet Tod is neither an educator nor a child psychologist. He's not even a parent.
But he's fully prepared to tell you how you should be raising yours!

The Only Thing Tod Maffin Creates These Days Is A Small Pile Of Poo

It's funny that for a guy who likes to be introduced as having created a website which beat Sony, Microsoft and AT & T, it appears that, these days, Tod Maffin can't even create a website that anyone is interested in.

Guess Who's Taking Public Relations Lessons From Tod Maffin ...

Question For insidecbc

Who is the current author or authors of the website ""?

Submitted to insidecbc Oct. 5, 8:37 EST at this web page

Tod Maffin Is Brimming With An Astounding Level Of Bullshit

(wisdom? Did you say wisdom?????????? The Lavin Agency thinks this punk has wisdom???)

currently posted at
The Lavin Agency

Thursday, October 4, 2007

"It's OK, I'm from the CBC ... er ... actually, I'm also from TodMaffin.Com"

from the Weatherman video below

Is Tod Maffin a full-time employee of the CBC or a freelancer?

Can all freelancers use the CBC trademarks and copyright notice on their commercial websites?
And have the public and businesses contact them at their private residences if they want the attention of the CBC?
And not have to follow any guidelines whatsoever in terms of journalism, ethics or fair play?

When The CBC Is Not The CBC

When it comes to the CBC and Tod Maffin, appearances can be deceiving.

Taking a glance at ...

All the signs are there that this site is endorsed by the CBC.
Logos and trademarks, and even the content of the site is copyrighted by the CBC.
Yet the site and it's administrators are not bound by any policies of the CBC.

How would other CBC employees who want to blog about the CBC be entitled to these same privileges?

Tod Maffin must be pretty special, and a highly respected employee of the CBC to be accorded such a degree of "trust" in dealing with other staff and the public.
How did he qualify for such freedom?

Taking Chances With "The CBC"

At, a privately-held company run by Tod Maffin, there is a solicitation for "TIPS", as in news items and whatever else.
The conduit for any information that comes in is Tod Maffin, and nowhere on the site are people given any assurance as to who will ultimately see the submissions and the identities of those who write in.

Is The CBC Paying Peter Mansbridge To Work There?

Or is that another example of what Jeff Keay, Head of Communications, refers to as a "private matter"?

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Today's CBC Is A Disservice To All Of Us

Tod Maffin Thinks It's Fun To Deceive People

(and I'll explain when I get back from seeing the totally hot Irshad Manji at Indigo)

And ... we're back.
Our guest tonight is Muslim Refusenik Irshad Manji ... no, wait. that's another blog.

This one is about Tod Bullshit Maffin, and if one word were to describe this guy, that word would be DECEPTIVE, as in to deceive ...

But this guy is so full of shit I'll need a bit longer to pull together just a sample of his misdeeds.
Stay tuned ...

I know Tod will, hoping finally to have a case to take to his lawyer.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Tod Maffin Owns


I'm Confident That CBC Letter-Opening People Are Honest


I got to the Post Office and asked for a $5 money order, Canadian.
The clerk said "that'll be $9.50".

$4.50 for a $5 money order???!!!
Man, it's been a long time since I bought a money order.

Forget it. I'll send the cash.
I'm certain that a $5 bill is not going to make anyone drool at the CBC.
And it's the CBC in Ottawa too! If you can't trust them, then they must be watching TV like an American.


What's your problem?

Tod Maffin's version of absolute power.
I wrote a comment at a famous blog.
Tod didn't like it, and took the intial steps of legal action to have it removed.
He was successful.

It made me an unhappy camper.
And I happen to really like it here.

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