the ultimate sad zen
tod maffin has seen the future
and it is time travel in reverse
the future is back there
from where you were propelled
the Mother Corps
look at this boy what does the future hold for him
he'll be alone and masturbating for the rest of his life
unsuccessful in a relationship with a woman other than his mother
and really let's face it
who could stand for long looking up at those nostrils
as he grunts away thinking you probably like this
no he's more fun in other ways
like the odd couple but Tod won't live with anyone but his mother
and you his forever internet friends
who all pretend you believe him
all you who go along with his "gag", the unspoken "joke" and let's pretend
and hope that as you forgive Tod Maffin so too will you be forgiven your own barely believable reason for being in existence
here's pity for all of you whose mighty leader has fallen
may he yet rise again the rightful leader of CBC social media
juggling more balls than he has
to control and influence the digital publishing landscape
he's a nerd and will forever be a nerd
dreaming of the day when he'll become an authentic person
neither microsoft nor apple
neither a nerd nor an asshole
but a real man
it may yet happen
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